Thursday, September 08, 2005

The Joke




There is this fat little balding political manager who has this act and he goes to see the political king maker who was known for his ability to see a good thing when he saw it.

"I've got this great act."

"Tell me about it."

"Well, its a family act."

"I don't like family acts. They are too swarmy. Go see Ed."

"No you'll like this."


This family is depraved. They will do anything to be on stage.

"Tell me more."

Well, its about this grandfather, father, mother, and their sons, and even the granddaughters and grandsons.

First, you have the grandfather who comes out on stage and immediately sells out to the enemy by selling them arms so they can kill his own people, then the son takes over by using his position in the spy business to keep his own people hostage until after the election, thus insuring his own victory over an incumbent. To induce the bad guys to do this, they agree to sell them arms that are illegal, so they can kill some other guys. They then put the money to use in South America to set up death squads and to over throw elected presidents. Dad gets drunk with his own Jennifer, has a car crash, and thus cheats on his wife who looks like his mother to boot.

But the sons are something else. Two become governors and another becomes a bank robber.

The elder one sets a record for public executions.

The other one puts the state teacher fund into a criminal corporation called Enron.

In order to get the older brother elected president, the younger brother has to rig the election in his state. Another cousin helps out in a critical moment by changing the momentum on election night by masquerading as a political commentator on a fake news network and therefore changes the shape of the coverage.

When it ends up in court, the Daddy uses his appointments to swing the case.

As president, the son breaks off treaties, gives a huge tax break to the rich, takes the country to war on false premises, steals a second election with paperless voting machines, and then lets 50,000 poor blacks sit in the sun for 5 days without water when a natural disaster induced by climate change destroys a national treasure.

He breaks his promise to regulate greenhouse gases and backs out of the Kyoto Treaty in the name of the economy, when in fact he is just a stooge for the oil industry, then sits on his ranch and watches a class 1 hurricane go into the Gulf of Mexico, which is 10 degrees hotter than it should be, and turn into a class five ass kicker which slams into the mouth of the Mississippi River with a swell that would make your mistress nervous.

He appoints a college roomate of his former campaign manager in Texas, who couldn't even keep his job as a lobbyist for horses, to manage federal emergencies. The horse lobbyist then appoints two political hacks to be his deputies. The shoot horse lobbyist don't they?

The children get arrested for drinking and being all around spoiled bratty butts.

And at the end, they all go f#%k themselves.

During their entire time on stage, they lie and cheat and steal and shit on everything their constituents hold holy.

"I like it." says the king maker.

What's the name of the Act"

"We call it the Aristocrats."

If you don't know what I'm talking about, here is the Trailer.

And here is part of a review.

"By now it's no mystery that The Aristocrats, the documentary film by Paul Provenaza and Penn Jillette, is relentlessly, gleefully vulgar. The film is an extended deconstruction of a classic joke, presented in various forms by an impressive roster of stand-up comics and comedic actors who riff on the joke's core theme.

If an American apocalypse is in the cards, it won't happen because people laugh at The Aristocrats, or use offensive language, or tell astonishingly filthy jokes.

It will happen because what passes for political discourse in this country perpetuates a cultural and political mythology that brands liberals as traitors, conservatives as fascists, Christians as the American Taliban, and dozens of other equally offensive Red State/Blue State, black/white, rich/poor stereotypes.

The real fiber of this country is lost as the language of 21st century American politics erases the middle ground and pulls the plug on mutual respect and the thoughtful consideration of opposing ideas."

The movie is actually pretty funny.

In fact, it is hillarious.

But the joke,

Now that I think about it,

It's probably not that funny.


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Anonymous Anonymous said...

Your description of "aristocratic" Bush family deprivations runs disturbingly parallel to the filthy allusions from the joke in the movie. The comparisons are stunningly on target.
Another disturbing movie that I saw on Labor Day is "Constant Gardener." I saw it with someone born and raised in Africa. He assured me that even though it was not presented as a true story the reality of callous drug companies engaging in drug testing on poor Africans goes on routinely with virtually no concern for the well being of the subjects.
I don't know how much more outrage I can endure...

1:46 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I would rather see the movie than have to live the joke. Very good work.

7:31 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I laughed out loud with "a swell that would make your mistress nervous" You have a wonderful way of framing the obvious to make it even more obvious.

Guess I'll have to see this movie

7:43 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

this is hillarious.

8:24 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I didn't know about the granddad.

4:14 PM  

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