Friday, October 20, 2006

The Control Center

I think most of us feel a need to have control in our lives.

And most of us probably do have some amount of control.

We can make good choices that afford us various possibilities.

If we choose to be studious, we can find ourselves with a degree

that allows us to be a doctor, or a lawyer, or a scientist.

If we choose to work hard, we can find ourselves with a degree

of comfort in our well appointed homes and cars and plasma screens.

If we choose to play too hard, we can find ourselves with

a liver that doesn't want to play anymore,

and if we choose to only eat steak and potatoes,

we will have something other than a heart of gold.

Our decisions therefore give us a certain amount of control

as we motivate ourselves through the space-time we are given,

in these vessels we often identify our consciousness with.

But in our deeper selves, we know that this control in our lives is illusory.

A speeding car, a sudden spike in blood pressure, a slip of the heel,

can change everything in seconds.

Often, when I am finding myself on the edge of the control horizon,

I try to center.

Not because it helps with controlling or changing the situation itself,

but because it helps in my response to the perceived loss of control.

And that is where the control of my world is effected.

In my response to the chaotic world of change and caprice,

My control of the situation comes from my response to it.

If I am centered, then that response will likely be appropriate.

If I am not, then my response will probably aggravate the situation.

I hate it when that happens.

But the point is this.

We don't ever lose control.

Because we really never had any.

But, when we maintain our center,

who we are, what we believe, our personal moral high ground,

and our sense of well being in the oneness,

The edges fall off.

And the control horizon recedes like a mirage,

on a hot, straight, deserted west Texas highway.


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Blogger oZ said...

I made a change saturday morning to the post. Perfididy, (not perfidy) is a song, apparently not a word. I changed it to caprice.

7:55 AM  

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