Wednesday, June 20, 2007

A day in the Life

The day started this morning with a click,

No, it was more like a clack.

As I turned the key in the large Baldwin lock

to enter the rounded front door of my arts and crafts home,

the key broke… with the business end in the lock.

I calmly reached for the secret key,

And walked over to the side door.

The door was too tight to open with the key.

So I went to the office in back,

thinking I would need to punch in the entry key numbers

in the electric key pad.

That wasn’t necessary, I had left the office open all night.

As I ate my breakfast taco that comes from the funny drugstore,

I figured I would get in somehow. I had an appointment at ten,

And I needed to be on the road by 12.

In my back office drawing tool tray I found a very handy hemostat.

Next to it, was a pair of tweezers.

A handy utility knife was standing proudly next to them both.

I suddenly had an arsenal of tools for the job.

I tried the tweezers, but they kept slipping off.

Then I tried the hemostat. It slipped off.

Then I tried the utility knife. I’m not sure why.

I went back to the tweezers and realized,

"I’m going to need a chair".

So I got a directors chair and placed it so I could work.

In a few moments, using the hemostat,

The key remnant suddenly slipped out and appeared from its shroud.

Victoriously, I had my meetings and then drove

in the verdant countryside for five hours.

When I checked into the downtown boutique hotel,

I immediately got out my little Acer,

And fired it up.

No signal.

I called down to the front desk.

We changed rooms where the wireless signal was stronger.

Even though I could get most websites fine,
Outlook kept acting screwy.

It kept losing the connection with the server.

So, I tried my G Mail server.

It worked I thought, but not for long.

I tried to sign in to the blog.

No luck.

I tried signing into my server at work.

No luck.

I even tried signing into my gmail account from the web.

No luck.

I tried another hotmail account.

No luck.

Outlook kept locking up.

I had several messages in the "outbox"

That wouldn’t go anywhere, and they kept making Outlook

Get all balled up in knots.

I thought,

"I’ll take a walk."

I did. It was hot.

I called my girl friend.

She could tell I was predisposed.

We agreed to talk later.

I screwed and screwed with it.

Bloggers are that way I guess.

We just keep screwing with it.

I dumped my cookies,

I tried all my browsers.

Like a hunter, I plodded through the tech jungle.

Finally, it occurred to me that the hotel’s signal

Was only allowing things to go one way.

I found a weak signal and low and behold.

So instead of a post about climate change,

Or peak oil, or our growing fascist state,

I’m writing about our machines and our tools.

And how much we depend on them.

If some really smart Chinese guy can do to our internet

What some guy apparently did to the hotel’s service,

This nation, No, the whole developed world
is going to go bug f#2king crazy.

And when it does,

I’m going to lay back,

And I’m going to read that new secret history book,

And I’m going to get out my pen,

And write in my diary.

And I’m going to sketch out that house plan.

And I’m going to use those hemostats again.



Anonymous Anonymous said...

Well said, and

Why wait.

11:04 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

You made me smile in recognition and empathy. I just got a new laptop. I'm adjusting to a new mouse, missing the old links, relocating my person on the couch so I can gaze out of the window at the changing skyline and watch it rain.

7:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

yeah, I sure relate to that.

3:38 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

My bandleader sent this to me. Seemed to go with today's blog in a convoluted way.

How to start every day with a positive outlook:

1. Create a new document on your computer.
2. Name it George W. Bush
3.Send it to the trash.
4. Empty the trash.
5. Your PC will ask you, "Do you really want to get rid of George W. Bush?"
6. Firmly click "Yes".
7. Feel better!

Tomorrow we'll discuss Dick Cheney.

7:15 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I won’t ask what you’re going to use the hemostats for!

7:16 AM  
Blogger oZ said...

I was wondering when someone wasn't going to ask.

8:37 AM  

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