Friday, March 11, 2005

Letting Go

When I get into the elevator at work,

I almost always move to the back

and look at myself in the mirrors in the doors.

The optics of the highly polished steel doors drop a few pounds off,

much like the mirrors in a funhouse on the Midway.

But today, instead of looking at the thin illusion of my form,

I noticed my hair.

Maybe it was the way the light fell down from the new LED lights,

Or the color balance of the lights themselves,

but there, in the mirror,

was a middle aged man

with very gray hair.

It was as if I had been teleported into another man's body.

And there in the elevator, on my way to run 6 miles,

I had to let go of the idea that I was not a grown up.

For, I most definitely am.

You know what I'm talking about.

don't you?

It's that moment when you look around

and you see that everyone in the room is younger than you.

It's that moment when those guys who used to look old,

Don't look that old anymore.

I've been having lots of those moments lately,

Where I realize that I must let go of things that I hold dear,

because they don't really exist anymore.

Like my thick brown hair,

and eyes that can pick an entree

in dim romantic candle light,

I let go of love, the possessive love of a child,

And embrace the love of understanding.

I let go of my hate

for those who vote wrong,

and dutifully repeat talk radio programming,

like a trained parrot that talks without knowing.

I let go of that silly sense of self,

that takes it all too personally.

I embrace a self of sanity

that rejects my sense of separation

over communion,

and this disease of nationalism

that engulfs every news show and talking head.

I let go of my love of hate,

and my hate of real love.

I let go of the violence in my own views

and free the confidence of my convictions.

I let go of the certainty of death,

and embrace the serendipity of life.

I even had dinner with a Republican tonight.

I let that go too.

I embrace the earth

and our family.

and this house

we call home.

And I'm going back

to the fun house mirrors.




*

8 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Aging is Gods way of telling you that there is still more time, and a lot more work to do.

9:18 AM  
Blogger OZ said...

comments are working again.

10:03 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I think that it is not important how old your are, but what you have done during all those years......aging is an attitude that you learn with age.....may sound easy...but good to know.

10:43 AM  
Blogger OZ said...

There are still some problems with comments, if you have one, e mail earthfamilyalpha@hotmail and I will post it for you.

11:20 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Your "Letting Go" is beautifully written.

I wanted to comment, but the blog software was not cooperative.

We are all "mellowing", and we all must get better at letting go if we are to keep our mental health intact.

3:22 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

With Age comes Wisdom and Wisdom is liberating. It is liberating to learn that the work that needs to be done is fundamentally within oneself.

When Gandhi said 'Be the change you wish to see in the world,'
he meant alot more than become a really prodigious recycler.

All the ills of the world are planted in each of us.

As I acquiesce to the physical changes of my forties I face my ego and let go of the attachment to the beauty of youthfulness.

As I witness violence and aggression in the world I raise the level of dialogue with myself when I see that I am controlling someone or a situation.

If we are to age and die gracefully we have to learn to let go of egoistic attachments, ultimately to life itself. This is nature within us. Sometimes it is very hard.

Life takes practice.

10:52 PM  
Blogger OZ said...

thanks all for the thoughtful comments.

10:11 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I let go of my love of hate.

Wow OZ.

Way to go.

3:15 PM  

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